hellobeautifulcreatures

I get a sudden awareness that things aren’t as sharp as a moment before. The children who just argued in the next room, now sound muffled… are they outside? How did they get there in an instant? My peripheral vision slowly fades out. First in spots, then gone entirely as if there is nothing in the room aside from what’s right in front of me. My body struggles with an instant and intense exhaustion like I ran a marathon. Like I haven’t slept in weeks. Like I ran a marathon after not sleeping for weeks… The nausea crashes into me as an ocean wave crashes into the shore. My stomach is sick. My brain is sick. My body is sick. I fight a war against myself in this moment. Who needs the limited energy more? Sometimes my brain wins and my body loses. I lay down and go to sleep the minute my eyes shut. I will wake in an hour or two. Or three. But sometimes my brain loses… I feel a cold come over my skin. I start to panic as my words are lost. They are in my mind, but I am no longer able...